Today l am feeling reflective and these are my thoughts my ways of dealing with my life so just for those that need warning there are TRIGGERS of death abuse rape and all the crap that life throws at us……….

Guess l am one of the lucky ones in life as l have never suffered abuse….
I have had some pretty shitty relationships in my time but would l term them abusive? No the minute l go down the route of abuse then l become a victim or survivor and l am neither…
But then for me abuse is a very powerful word with that it brings a lot of emotional and physical stuff, so no l have never seen myself as being abused.

I have been raped l have been sexually assaulted and once l had got my head around the fact l was not to blame or there was nothing l could do to prevent what happened then l put it behind me as that person is not going to continue to affect me in any way, he is not going to have any more control over what l think how l feel or how l go about my life… Oh l occasionally have the odd nightmare but l accept that is part of what it is and l move on…

I can never go back l can never change what has happened, but what l have done is made sure that it hasn’t stopped me from having loving relationships both kink and vanilla. I will not let the crap that has happened the odd bad relationship stop me from making my future happy..

Guess l am lucky that l have the coping mechanisms that enable to do that, l am no more stronger then the next person emotionally we all cope with our demons in the best way for us and for me its not seeing myself as being abused.

See the bad things that happen are only a very small part of my time on this earth for most of my life l have been blessed with many happy times l have been blessed with so many happy memories that the bad ones are over-shadowed and when on occasion those dark ones pop out of the box l go to my happy memories things that when l think of them l glow and smile.

My life has not been defined by the crap but by the happiness l have been blessed with…

My life has not been defined only by the men that have been in my life but the awesome friends who have spent a life time with me who have walked by my side when l have needed them….

My parents would have been so proud at how their family has grown and how we have all overcome some pretty crappy times together as a family with help from our friends…

Even the bad relationships had moments of happiness….

I thank god every day for the continuing health of my family and friends l have buried too many too soon…

If l told my story about the the things that have gone wrong in my life yes you may see that l am a survivor of abuse of some kind but l’m not because the crap can be condensed into maybe a few months of my life while the rest may not have set the world alight but it sure as hell made my world a very bright and happy place to be……

This quote pretty much sums it all up….

“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice


Author: ladybabe2

Older no wiser lived laughed and cried about sums it all up x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s